Shallow depths.

"I'm only going to say this once: I don't ONLY go for looks, though it happens to be one of my criteria."

It reassures someone that though I might attract more male attention, I must be a spiritual retard, which then evens things out. Yeah, right. Call me shallow all you want, this little pig has just gone for a housing upgrade.

I remember how we used to bitch about a certain colleague whose performance is only a passing grade, and isn't as nice as she seems. Yet, she always receives positive feedback about her work and person. It's her sweet disarming smile and boobs, we figured. At some point, I realised that my diet of sour grapes was getting me nowhere, and worse, showing on my face. So, I decided that "If you can't beat them, join them!" Not that I went for a boob job, mind! But I did work on smiling more and emanating more positive vibes; also because I didn't want my face to morph into a bittergourd!

SF reports that her boss is less likely to criticise her work when she is dressed in more feminine blouses or pastel shades.

Like it or not, looks do matter. Anwar had watched the job interview on 20/20. Interestingly, the interviewer when asked about the better-looking job applicant, recalled that he was more eloquent. But the video recording showed that was far from the truth. So much for meritocracy. I asked Anwar where that put the average lookers. Why even bother trying when the best deals would always go to the attractive ones? He said the average lookers would just have to work harder to prove themselves and stand out. Otherwise, all the "ugly ones would have to bash their heads against the walls."

Yes, it's unfair. But have we been deluded about fairness? Is meritocracy just a social construct that the average lookers came up with to even things out, and therefore not a true reflection of reality? As a child psychologist told me, "Life's not fair because everyone is already different at birth!"

If you think about it, lookism is rampant in the animal kingdom. So why do we deny nature? What we were, are, and will be, are marked on our faces and bodies.

It's not a comfortable truth, more so because some of us are born 'disadvantaged', and the truth doesn't quite fit with our social conditioning. But the important thing is to take this in perspective. Knowledge is what we make of it. It can help us to accept what we can't change, so that we can move on and direct our creative energies to more positive activities like making the most of our limited resources. Knowledge might not change what we were born with, but we do have a choice to make a hell of heaven, or a heaven of hell. And at the very least, knowledge teaches us humility, which is so lacking in today's world.